Saving Advice - We all wish that family didn’t bring up awkward topics in the middle of Christmas dinner. But taboo subjects like politics and finances are bound to come up during the holidays. It’s inevitable that your nosy aunt will ask you when you’re buying a house or having kids. If you’re trying to save money right now, you may also need to tell your family that your holiday gift and travel budget is limited this year. Here are five tips to help you handle the difficult financial discussions that come up during the holidays with grace.
5 Ways to Gracefully Handle Financial Discussions During the Holidays
Suggest Alternatives If You Can’t Afford a Holiday Activity If you can’t afford a certain holiday activity, it’s a good idea to suggest alternatives within your budget that your loved ones may still enjoy. For example, if you can’t afford to fly home for Christmas because airfare is expensive around the holidays, maybe you could visit later in the year. Airfare trackers like Going can help you monitor flight prices so you can snag a more affordable ticket down the line.
If traveling isn’t in the cards this year due to budgetary concerns, you could have a family Zoom call during the holidays instead. Watching festive movies or playing games over video chat can help you feel more connected to relatives you can’t afford to visit right now.
Delay Important Money Discussions Christmas may be the only time of year that your whole family gathers in the same room. So you may feel tempted to have important money discussions while everyone is together in person.
However, the holidays can be a stressful time both emotionally and financially. As a result, your mom and dad may not be in the right headspace to have a discussion about retirement. That’s why it’s usually best to delay conversations about estate planning and other big financial topics until Christmas is over.
Deflect Unwanted Questions About Your Finances Over the years, I’ve found that the best way to deal with unwanted financial questions is to change the subject. When people find out I’m a personal finance writer, they often want to talk about inflation and the economy. The conversation can quickly become negative and political, so I try to politely steer it in a different direction. I usually crack a joke about how I’m not an economist and bring up a more neutral topic like sports.
It’s easy to get flustered if family makes negative comments or asks probing questions about your finances. But in my experience, responding in a snarky or curt way usually just causes more drama. Taking a few seconds to recenter yourself and trying to gently redirect the conversation to lighter topics is the best approach.
And if all else fails, I make an excuse about needing to use the bathroom so I can escape for a few minutes. Usually the conversation has drifted to something else by the time I return.
Be Honest With Kids About Your Budget Considering 60% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, you may not have a lot of room in your budget for gifts. When finances were tight growing up, my parents usually let me know in an age-appropriate way so I could adjust my expectations. I appreciated their honesty and plan to be open with my future kids about Christmas budgets.
Even during good times, kids can get carried away when making their Christmas lists and ask for gifts that aren’t financially feasible. Explaining why they can’t have a pony can help them begin to understand budgeting and financial responsibility.
During leaner times when there are fewer gifts under the tree, kids have the opportunity to learn the value of experiences. It may be helpful to give your kids a heads-up that Santa can’t deliver tons of presents this year so they aren’t disappointed.
However, it’s also important to reassure them that you’re still going to spend time together and have a great Christmas. After all, the memories made while playing games or watching Christmas movies as a family can be just as valuable as physical presents.
Don’t Feel Pressure to Fulfill Requests for Money There’s a lot of pressure during the holidays to be generous and give nice gifts to family and friends. However, don’t let holiday expectations make you feel forced into giving loans or monetary gifts to loved ones. If a family member asks to borrow money from you on Christmas, don’t feel obligated to say yes right away just because it’s the season of giving.
In fact, it may be better to tell your family member you need time to review your finances before making a decision. Sleeping on it ensures you don’t get swept up in the spirit of Christmas and agree to lend money you actually need. Even if you’re leaning toward telling your family member no, delaying the decision until after Christmas might be a good idea. If they react poorly when you deny their request, at least the tension won’t spoil the holiday since it’s already over.
Should You Lend Money to Family? It can be hard to decide whether or not to lend money to a family member. Generally financial experts recommend that you only lend money to loved ones if you can afford to lose it. That way if they aren’t able to pay you back, there’s a lower risk of hard feelings forming between you.
You may also want to consider why your loved one needs the money and what they plan to use it for. If you don’t agree with their spending habits, it may be better to offer other forms of assistance instead of money. For example, you could help them spruce up their resume so they can start looking for a better job.
How do you handle holiday financial discussions? Share your tips in the comments!